Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
