I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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