Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize