dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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