that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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