I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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