he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
