YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
