he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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