i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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