Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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