she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will be naked everywhere
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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