I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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