shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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