I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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