So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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