I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
