things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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