Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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