If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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