About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
