just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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