I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
