hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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