pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
