Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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