come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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