Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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