Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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