Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
