put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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