We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
