I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
