I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How does it feel to date your dad?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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