Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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