Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
