well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
