quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
