Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
