So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
