People with herpes should wear stickers.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I will pee on everything he values.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
