Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize