My friends, they love my intelligence
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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