on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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