I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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