Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
