I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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