What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
