Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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