I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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