fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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