so that wasnt chicken after all
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
