and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
