I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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