mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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