I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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