GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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