I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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