Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
