we have pet lesbian snakes
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
