you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize