I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
