Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
