I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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