my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize