She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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