a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
